2/17/2011

Strong Opinions Again

Life is a blast. Usually.

Recently I’ve gotten kind of sappy in my blog posts. With this post, I aim to remind all of you that I’m a little dog with big dog opinions and attitude.

As you know, I’m usually very friendly, happy and barky towards new things and adventures. There are, however, a few things I hate:

Squirrels
Oh, sure, some say I should be more tolerant towards our handsome rodent neighbors. But I’m not and I’m never going to be. They simply bug the heck out of me. Mom tells me to mind my manners and stop barking at them because it’s rude. Too bad, Squirrels. I’m rude.



Anything In Front Of Me When I’m On Leash
If I see you when I’m on the leash, I’m going to bark at you and do my best to intimidate you and move you along. Been working on this one a while now. Maybe it will get better, maybe it won’t. Since I spend all my weekly allowance on cheese, I’m not going to be buying a crystal ball to check on how this will go in the future. Oh well.

Wimpy Dog Toys
What is this? If a toy can’t stand up to my tiny jaw what good are they? Zoe The Border wears her retirees as a hat to show them whose boss.
Photo courtesy of @zoetheborder
Wylie The Terrier Mix helps his retirees along with no show of mercy.

Photo Courtesy of Wylie The Terrier via @zoetheborder
Ted and Issac The Borders send the weakest ones into retirement on a regular basis.

Photo courtesy of Ted and Issac via @RealJoannek
I think wimpy official dog toys are the innocent victims of a massive conspiracy by the toy manufacturers to get our parents to keep buying us more toys. Grrrr. Manufacturers win this round.

So, partially to combat and document this economic injustice, I started #destructogang on Twitter with my pals help.  Keep an eye out for retiree photos and information about Palm Spring Retirement Village - Phase II.

*Fine Print* 
In direct response to the correct and considerable concerns of my bear, bunny and other small friends on Twitter, rules are in place regarding #destructogang member actions. 

Master Rule No. 1 - No #destructogang member is allowed to retire real, live toys that deserve our love and respect.  At this time, we are allowed to retire official dog toys, shoes, slippers, pillows, and garbage pails.  Other retired items should be submitted via proper channels and will be reviewed prior to admittance as an official retiree.

Master Rule No. 2 - Any #destructogang member caught injuring a real, live toy that deserves our love and respect will be sanctioned immediately. 

Translation = we do not eat our friends.  We know who are friends are and we have no intention of hurting them in any manner.  A security force has been trained to deal with offenders. Hopefully, they will never be needed.

What is this retirement stuff all about, you ask?  Explained here: 

 http://misspishposh.blogspot.com/2011/02/palm-spring-retirement-village.html


There. That sets the record straight.

^ . . ^

Woof




3 comments:

zoetheborder said...

I rilly liked this post, Miss P. I fink it is important to be in touch wiv our shadow an hatin squirrels an killin toyz does be what dogs do. I am glad you explained the rules for the Destructo Gang though as it is very important that good friends, like Henry for me, are protected.

Very cool!

Zoe
Proud DG member an friend of Miss P.

Teenys Friends said...

i also do not like squirrels~ mai sisfur tootsie and i take turns patrolling the back yard so dat we can ensure it remains squirrel free.

Pish Posh Says said...

Hi, Zoe and Teeny! Stupid, bothersome squirrels. You guys are so right - just because we lucky to be inside dogs doesn't mean we should abandon our true selves and let our guard down.