6/22/2011

6 Keys to Successful Cheese Noming

Heard about an app that uses a top secret algorithm to calculate your “influence” and highlight your chief areas of knowledge. I guess this means it lets me know who likes what I’m barking about and the stuff I bark about most frequently.

Hmmmmm….I dunno about this. But it did get me thinking. What do I bark about most? My first guess is cheese. Apparently not… My top items of “knowledge” are Mom, barking, with waving paws rounding out my Top 3.

Really, not a bad Top 3, but I think I know more about cheese than the list indicates. So, I set out to highlight my knowledge about noming cheese. Not cheese itself per se - just keys to successfully achieving cheese so you can nom it. Hope these keys increase your cheese/nom success ratio.

6 Keys to Achieving Successful Cheese Noming

No. 1 - Master Your Surroundings
Know that cheese is most often stored in the fridge. Don’t waste your time or energy looking for cheese under the sofa, at the front door or in the bathroom. You will find other interesting things there but probably not cheese.

No. 2 - Be Alert to Details
Most cheese comes into the house via shopping bags. Inspect all bags entering house. This includes grocery store, purses, Nordstrom and Home Depot bags. While searching for cheese outside the fridge is often unrewarding, don’t let opportunities slip past. Cheese can make it into the fridge in many ways.

No. 3 - Distinguish Elements in Your World
Cheese is often stored in easy open bags. Don't be fooled by easy open lettuce bags. And for heavens sake, do not fall for the ziplock sound that the plastic bag humans store make-up, vitamins and craft items in.

No. 4 – Understand Relative Gravity
The easiest way to define gravity is that it’s a force that attracts an object (cheese) towards the center of the earth, or towards other physical body (Me). Make gravity your friend.

No. 5 –Nurture Persistence
Persistence is the hidden gem in our knowledge kit. You can paralyze resistance with persistence. It's true. If you don’t keep trying to get cheese at every opportune or inopportune moment, well, you won’t get cheese. Avert tragedy, remain persistent.

No. 6 - Recognize Success
Cheese happens - so enjoy your moment of glory when you and cheese become one. Revel in the joy of achieving your goals.


"In times of joy, all of us wished we possessed a tail we could wag." W. H. Auden

^ . . ^

Woof!

6 comments:

Berkeley said...

I like you blog and I think it is useful too.

Oskar said...

What a great, informative post! I got a quarter of ham and cheese sandwich yesterday that I'm still savoring!

Nubbin wiggles,
Oskar

zoe the border said...

mmm...cheese. Great post, Sasha!

marley said...

THat is the most interestin an informativ blog i ever did read Sasha. Fanks for dat.

blindmaximus said...

Totally agree with #5. Just yesterday I sat on the kitchen floor FOR HOURS, whining occasionally for the brisket on the countertop. And you know what? Girl gave me a piece. Then The Mom gave me one. Then Girl said, "Stop whining! I gave you a piece!" so the mom said, "I gave him one too!" And then I got another huge piece. :)

Lochie Pupppy said...

Great post! I am looking forward to finding all the nommy cheese and making friends with gravity